13/04/19
How to treat someone who feels like his heart is dead ?
Dear Sir, I feel like my my heart is dead.
Nothing interests me and I have no desires or feelings whatsoever. I am very unhappy and depressed and feel useless. What is wrong with me? I haven’t felt like this before. I was always happy with myself and my beliefs, what should I do?
Name: Abu Bakr.
Answer:
Thank you for using this blessed website and your query.
In answer to your question, you should bare hope and be optimistic and avoid desperation and despair for God Almighty says in the Holy Quran recalling the conversation of prophet Yaqoob (Jacob) to his sons:
وَلَا تَاْيْـَٔسُواْ مِن رَّوْحِ ٱللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يَاْيْـَٔسُ مِن رَّوْحِ ٱللَّهِ إِلَّا ٱلْقَوْمُ ٱلْكَٰفِرُونَ
“and despair not of relief and mercy from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except those who do not believe”
Holy Quran:Yousif (Joseph):12:87
For the blessings of faith and repentance are the greatest gifts and graces of Allah Almighty to a believer and this changes one’s whole status and condition where he or she will be closer to Allah Almighty. Usually, a repentant heart will be greatly motivated to be observant, compliant and pious where this person will want to make up for all the lost days of his or her life when he or she were misguided and sinful. This is the norm for every person who is sincere and honest in their repentance. This has been referred to by our beloved prophet, God Almighty’s blessings and peace be upon him, where the prophet also informed what will happen after this motivation, where there will be lethargy and indifference, and this is normal too. But the danger and threat is when this lethargy and indifference increases and this person returns and goes back to their prior state. This is very important to be aware of; hence the repentant and devout should stop at moderation and fairness in their path, and hold to the Sunna and way of the Prophet.
By doing so they will keep and sustain their integrity and fairness and when holding to this status they will be able to recharge and set out again actively and lively.
Our beloved Prophet, God’s blessings and peace be upon him said:
“For every deed there is passion and intensity that will be followed by weakness and feebleness. He whom his passion and intensity is to my Sunna (the way of the Prophet) will succeed, and for he whom his weakness and feebleness is astray from my Sunna shall fail and perish.”
Thus, for a Muslim to avoid surplus and neglect, they have to be moderate and fair. They must not exhaust themselves with prayer and good deeds so they get bored and tired, then they stop all together, nor should they be lazy and dull, then they find it very difficult to do any good at all. Both of the above extremes are displeasing and nasty. Thus moderation and fairness is the key that leads to holding the right path where the holder of this path reaches to what Allah all mighty loves and is pleased with.
Our beloved prophet said “No one will achieve salvation through his deeds“. The companions of the Prophet said: “Not even you, O messenger of Allah”, the Prophet replied “Not even I, unless God bestows his mercy and compassion on me. Therefore, do good deeds sincerely and moderately, and worship God in the forenoon and afternoon, and during part of the night. Moderation, moderation, hold to it and you will reach safe haven“. Narrated by Imam Al-Bukhary.
From this blessed saying of our beloved prophet we understand that we should be kind to ourselves in worship and seek moderation. We also see that the Prophet implied to travel when he said you will “reach”, because a worshipper is like a traveller destined for his place of rest and refuge which is Heaven.
Note this Hadith (saying of the beloved Prophet) “ The most loved of deeds to Allah are those that are ceaseless even if they are small and little” Narrated by Imam Muslim.
Hence do not start harshly and then get totally exhausted and stop altogether, but be moderate in worship and this is within your means and whenever you feel active and energetic, utilize this in Allah Almighty’s worship and observance and when you feel tired, consumed and bored, withhold back to ease and moderation.
I advise you to keep company with the trustworthy, truthful and the virtuous, may Allah be pleased with them and with you, for it is with their companionship that inspiration and motivation is achieved, spirits lifted and heightened, and the minds and hearts are enlightened.
Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran:
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَكُونُواْ مَعَ ٱلصَّٰدِقِينَ
“O you who have believed, be fearful of Allah and stand with those who are truthful”
Holy Quran: Al-Tawba (Repentance) 9:119
A Muslim should avoid all situations and causes that can make one’s heart harsh, cruel and indifferent; some of these causes and situations are:
1- Being apart and far from an atmosphere of faith and worship, like attending group prayers in mosques and attending Dhikr sittings (Where a group of Muslims sit together and remember Allah Almighty recalling his grace and majesty and recite Adhkar) and losing affiliation and company with the righteous, good and trustworthy may Allah Almighty be pleased with them and with their good deeds and with you.
2-Loss of the righteous and trustworthy role model and loss of companionship with the people of Allah Almighty, and these are the honourable guiders ( Al-Murshidoon) , may Allah be pleased with them and with you, for they are the greatest of means to cleanse the soul and heighten and lift the spirits and amplify and trigger the great potential of the heart and soul in God’s worship, Dhikr(remembrance) and Hudhur (the high status of worship and remembrance); Thus when Prophet Muhammed, Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him passed to God Almighty everlasting company, the companions of the Prophet (the Sahaba) said: “We denounced our hearts”
3- Associating with bad company, foul-mouthed, indecent and fornicators etc., is one of the major causes that lead to hard-heartedness and cruelty.
4- Being too materialistic, busy, occupied and possessed with day to day living matters and needs.
Our beloved Prophet, God Almighty’s blessings and peace be upon him said ”May he be miserable the captive of the dirham and the dinar” Narrated by Imam Al-Bukhari, ( Dirham and dinar were the currency units used in ancient and medieval ages in the Middle East, from the Greek Drachma and the Roman Denarius.), The meaning of this blessed saying is “May he be miserable the enslaved and possessed by money and coins of gold and silver, etc”.
5- Being too occupied and obsessed with family and children’s needs on the expense of forgetting and neglecting God’s worship. Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran:
إِنَّمَاۤ أَمۡوَ ٰلُكُمۡ وَأَوۡلَـٰدُكُمۡ فِتۡنَةࣱۚ وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُۥۤ أَجۡرٌ عَظِیمࣱ
”Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward”
Holy Quran, Al-Taghabun (Loss and Gain),64:15
6- Daydreaming, airy hope and wishful thinking whilst forgetting or ignoring how short life is and the inevitable coming of one’s death:
ذَرۡهُمۡ یَأۡكُلُوا۟ وَیَتَمَتَّعُوا۟ وَیُلۡهِهِمُ ٱلۡأَمَلُۖ فَسَوۡفَ یَعۡلَمُونَ
“Leave them to eat and enjoy life and let false hopes amuse them. They will soon come to know”
Holy Quran, Al-Hijr (The Stoneland) 15:3
7- Excess in eating, drinking, sleeping, and excess in mixing with people and talking too much. Excess food makes one slow of thinking, unhealthy in the mind and body and lazy in God Almighty’s worship and eases darkness into one’s soul. It is said that he who eats in excess will drink in excess and sleep in excess and lose in excess.
Excess in talking hardens the heart and excess in socializing and mixing with others makes one forget himself or herself in sorting one’s own affairs and one’s own deeds in this life. A moment’s insight may be worth a life’s experience.
The same goes with excess in laughing. Our beloved prophet, Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him said: “Do not laugh too much for indeed laughing a lot deadens the heart” Recited by Imam Ibn Majeh.
Dear brother, I advise you to review posts on this website about asceticism and moderation and those about seeking an honourable guider (Al-Murshid) , in the section of Purification and Suluk (seeking the spiritual path) in this blessed website, and I ask and pray that Allah Almighty eases your life and blesses you with the best of deeds and acts.
May Allah’s blessing and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammed and his family, descendants and his companions, people of glory and courtesy
And Allah Almighty knows best.